Navigating Sensory Sensitivities During The Holidays
The holidays can be a magical time filled with family gatherings, colourful decorations, and delicious meals. But for individuals with sensory sensitivities—especially those with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)—the holidays can also be an overwhelming sensory rollercoaster. Understanding these sensitivities is crucial for creating an enjoyable experience for everyone involved. With the holiday season approaching, it’s the perfect time to talk about what that looks like for us, and for our kids!
Sensory sensitivities are a common trait among neurodiverse kids. These sensitivities can make daily life — and especially events like holidays — overwhelming. Sensory sensitivities occur when a child’s nervous system is more sensitive to environmental stimuli. Children may be over-responsive (hypersensitive) or under-responsive (hyposensitive) to sensory input like sounds, lights, textures, and smells; however, sensory sensitivities are not exclusive to just ADHD or ASD.
According to Elaine Aron’s The Highly Sensitive Child, roughly 15-20% of children are considered highly sensitive. Aron reports that these children are more aware of subtle changes in their environment, such as temperature shifts, sounds, or textures, and they process these stimuli more deeply. This heightened sensitivity is not a disorder, but a trait that requires careful nurturing and understanding.
Carol Kranowitz’s The Out-of-Sync Child explains sensory processing disorder (SPD) in more detail, offering insight into how children with SPD may struggle to interpret sensory input correctly. Kranowitz stresses that sensory-sensitive children often feel "out of sync" with their environment, leading to behaviours that seem reactive or avoidant when their systems are overloaded.
What Sensory Overwhelm Feels Like
Imagine being at a concert with the music turned up to max volume, bright strobe lights flashing, and everyone talking loudly all at once. For someone with sensory sensitivities, seemingly simple holiday settings can feel like that. The noise of laughter and conversation, the sudden burst of fireworks or party crackers, the brightness of holiday lights, the texture of unfamiliar fabrics, or even the smell of a large variety of foods can all be sources of sensory overwhelm.
For children and adults with sensory sensitivities, the holidays often mean unpredictable changes to their environment and schedule. They may be bombarded by a cacophony of sounds, sudden movements, tactile irritations, and other stimuli that can lead to intense discomfort, meltdowns, or shutdowns. A busy Thanksgiving dinner, Halloween trick-or-treating, or Christmas festivities can go from feeling fun to completely overwhelming in moments, and all of a sudden laughter has turned to tears.
Understanding this is key to supporting, not just our loved ones, but ourselves! By being aware of these sensory challenges, we can help make the holidays feel less overwhelming and more inclusive for everyone.
Helping Our Children Who Have Sensory Sensitivities
Prepare Ahead of Time
One of the most effective ways to minimize sensory overload is to prepare in advance. Discuss upcoming events with your child, showing them pictures or describing what will happen during the gathering. If they know what to expect, the anxiety that often accompanies unpredictability can be reduced.
Create a visual schedule that outlines the day's activities to give your child a sense of control. It’s helpful to provide social stories that explain the expectations of different holiday traditions. Let your child know that it is okay to leave a situation if they feel overwhelmed, and agree on a signal or phrase they can use to communicate when they need a break.
Designate a Safe Space
A safe space can be a designated quiet room in the house or a calm corner where your child can retreat when things get overwhelming. Equip the space with items that they find comforting, such as noise-cancelling headphones, weighted blankets, or favourite toys. Knowing there is a safe haven can make a significant difference in managing sensory sensitivity.
Limit Overwhelming Stimuli
It’s okay to adjust your holiday traditions to better suit your child’s needs. If the lights are too bright, use dimmers or fewer decorations. If music is too loud, keep it at a low volume or avoid it altogether. Consider whether Halloween costumes may be uncomfortable—opt for soft clothing that isn’t irritating or even forgo costumes altogether in favour of a themed shirt. For meals, holiday foods can sometimes be challenging because of different textures, colours, and smells. Ensure that familiar and preferred food options are available so that your child doesn’t feel pressured to eat things they find distressing.
Keep Visits Short and Flexible
This might be the most important item on this list! Holiday gatherings can be long and overwhelming, so it's okay to make a plan to leave early or take frequent breaks. It’s also okay to just stay home! Flexibility is essential. Let family members know in advance that you may need to step away or modify plans to accommodate your child’s needs. This proactive communication can help avoid pressure and misunderstandings.
Practice Sensory-Calming Techniques
Techniques such as deep breathing, guided visualization, or using sensory toys can help children regulate when overwhelmed. Practice these techniques in advance, so that they become familiar tools that your child can use to cope during challenging situations.
Self-Care Strategies for Sensory-Sensitive Adults
What about you? Maybe you’re the one feeling the sensory overload at this time! For adults with sensory sensitivities, the holidays can be overwhelming, but there are ways to manage this:
First and Foremost: Advocate for Your Needs
Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs. Let others know if you need certain adjustments, such as lower music volume or a more relaxed dress code to accommodate tactile sensitivities. Setting boundaries is an important part of self-care.
Take Breaks When Needed
Allow yourself the freedom to step away when things become overwhelming. Whether you need a quiet walk, a moment in a calm room, or even to skip a particular event, respecting your own sensory needs helps reduce stress.
Limit Your Commitments
Holidays often bring social obligations, but it’s okay to limit your participation. Prioritize the events that matter most to you, and give yourself permission to decline invitations without guilt.
Practice Grounding Techniques
Use grounding techniques, such as focusing on your breath, carrying a comforting item, or using visualization to stay connected to the present moment when feeling overwhelmed.
Self-Care Strategies for Parents and Caregivers
Managing sensory sensitivities in children during the holidays can be taxing for parents too. Self-care is crucial for you to remain calm and supportive. Here are some practical strategies:
Take Care of Your Own Sensory Needs
Remember that sensory sensitivities can affect adults as well. If you are sensitive to certain stimuli, plan for ways to manage these—use earplugs to lower noise levels, avoid strong-smelling perfumes or foods, and ensure you have a quiet space available if needed.
Maintain Realistic Expectations
Holidays tend to come with high expectations, but it's important to adjust those to match your family’s needs. It's okay if your holidays look different from the traditional vision. Focus on what works for you and your child. This flexibility helps prevent disappointment and stress.
Take Short Breaks
When caring for a child with sensory sensitivities, it’s essential to carve out small windows of time to recharge yourself. Take a walk, meditate, or simply spend a few quiet moments with a cup of tea. These short breaks can help you remain grounded and reduce feelings of stress.
Seek Support from Family or Friends
Don’t hesitate to reach out to family or friends for support. Having an extra set of hands at gatherings can help you better manage your child’s needs and allow you to enjoy the festivities too. Alternatively, join support groups—whether in person or online—where you can share experiences and get advice from others in similar situations.
Holidays should be a joyful time for everyone, but for individuals with sensory sensitivities, the abundance of stimuli can make them challenging. By understanding what sensory overwhelm feels like, preparing ahead, setting boundaries, and creating safe spaces, we can make holidays more inclusive for our children and ourselves.
Remember, it’s perfectly okay if your holiday traditions look different—it’s about what works best for your family. Self-care, flexibility, and understanding go a long way in making the holidays a time of comfort and connection for everyone.
