RSD Reflections: From a Mom & Therapist
Part Two - A Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Episode In A Nutshell
Before you jump in, if you haven't read part one, I encourage you to start there.
Now to get back to the story, I was second row at this ADHD conference in Baltimore.
Doctor Dodson had just started outlining the characteristics of a rage episode in someone with rejection sensitivity dysphoria.
Here’s the breakdown in a nutshell:
RSD Episode:
1. The Trigger – anything!
2. The Impact – a rage – it can be multiple times a day.
3. The Reaction – When the reaction is a person who understands, you can feel shame. If it is someone who does not, then you can explode. When you come down from the explosion, you also feel shame and remorse.
4. The Climb Out
5. The Escape – you need to be left alone (“don’t follow me!”)
6. The Reflection (Why did I respond like that? Did I overreact? How could I do that to them?)
7. The Fade
Cue Mom (yup, that's me) in the second row of the conference starting to cry, and the poor friend sitting beside her with a hand on her lap trying to offer comfort but not really knowing why.
As a parent of a child with ADHD, having to navigate these emotional challenges can be really overwhelming.
It can feel like a constant rollercoaster of emotions for both you and your child.
But understanding the science behind why these struggles occur is crucial in providing support and empathy to our kids (and us!). So, let’s break it down a little. The word "dysphoria" has its roots in Greek. It comes from the combination of two Greek words: "dys," meaning "bad" or "difficult," and "phoros," meaning "to bear" or "to carry." So, "dysphoria" essentially means "difficult to bear".
Here are some symptoms of rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD):
1. *Extreme Emotional Sensitivity*: Individuals with RSD may experience intense emotional reactions to perceived or actual rejection, criticism, or failure. These emotional responses can be disproportionate to the situation.
2. *Fear of Rejection*: There is often a pervasive fear of rejection or criticism, leading to avoidance of situations where rejection is anticipated or perceived as likely.
3. *Hypersensitivity to Social Cues*: People with RSD may be hyperaware of social cues and interpret them as signs of rejection, even when no rejection is intended.
4. *Low Self-Esteem*: Chronic experiences of perceived rejection or failure can contribute to low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness.
5. *Impaired Social Functioning*: RSD can interfere with social relationships and functioning, as individuals may avoid social interactions or become defensive in response to perceived criticism.
6. *Mood Instability*: Emotional reactions in response to perceived rejection or criticism can lead to mood swings, including feelings of sadness, anger, or irritability.
7. *Self-Criticism*: Individuals with RSD may engage in excessive self-criticism and negative self-talk, reinforcing feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness.
8. *Difficulty Trusting Others*: Due to fear of rejection, individuals with RSD may have difficulty trusting others or forming close relationships.
So, what we know is that RSD is an intense emotional response to the perception of being rejected, criticized, or falling short of others' expectations. Again, it's often associated with ADHD (bingo!) and can manifest as extreme sensitivity to perceived criticism or rejection, even if it's not actually present or intended (note the word “perceived” - milk mustache? Missed test question, cute cowlick anyone?).
So, in essence, people with RSD may experience intense feelings of shame, embarrassment, anger, or sadness in response to situations where they feel like a failure, criticized or rejected.
After this information overload, it was time to come home!
Stay tuned for part three!
